Single

It's kind of weird, when I was younger I always thought life was meant to go a certain way. I used to think that when you're a teenager you get into a relationship and experience all your firsts. First kiss. First dates. First time.

I remember being in school, developing several crushes on boys in the hopes that one day they'll notice me and ask me out. Let's just say that never happened and school was pretty lonely in that I never had a boyfriend.  I felt like the odd one out because it seemed like everyone had been in at least one relationship and there was me not even experiencing a first kiss. I thought there was something wrong with me.

That's when I had a glimmer of hope. University. Going away, meeting new people and hearing about stories of students getting up to all sorts while in uni. It made me think that I'll be able to experience my firsts at least once in uni and perhaps even get into a relationship.
Well, for the first two years nothing happened. I hoped things would happen with certain guys but I got a bit unlucky.

Going into third year, I was losing hope that I'd be leaving university as a virgin and no first kiss to my name. Luck was on my side as I had the best housemates who one drunken night signed me up to online dating. It was quite fun just getting messages from random guys (as usually nobody ever messages me) so this was a new experience for me. Finally, one guy stood out for me and after exchanging numbers one night, the rest is history. I experienced a lot of firsts. First kiss. First date, First time. First heartbreak.

I am not going to lie. I do not regret that experience with that guy. Even though it ended in heartbreak, for a few months I was so happy that there was this guy who actually noticed me and made me feel special the times I was with him.

It has been two years now and it's all in the past. I've since deleted the dating apps and remained single to this day. I'll admit, I'm a little scared to give dating a try again in case I get my heartbroken which is honestly the worst feeling in the world.

Now, the point I want to make is that I have accepted that I've only experienced one relationship with a guy and it's okay. I am only twenty three after all. The single life is not so bad and viewing other people in relationships perhaps I've had a lucky escape.

I sometimes feel like I won't ever have a relationship again but I do have hope that it will happen and when it does it will be with the right man.

Who knows what will happen in the future?

So yeah, that's all my thoughts about my experience being single for most of my life. I'm quite happy being single right now.

Anyway, thank you for reading my blog and I'll be back tomorrow with another post for you.

See you then. 

Megan x 

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