I Have A Secret

Everyone has a secret. Sometimes big. Sometimes small. However big or small the secret is everyone has a secret/ Something that only they know or a select few know. I have many secrets and no this is not a tell all revealing post about every single secret I have. If I did that, I'd have to confront it with several people that may be not aware of those secrets and that might just make things incredibly awkward for me. Trust me my life is already an awkward mess and I don't want it to be any more awkward thank you. 

I do want to share one secret I have though, although after this it may not be a secret anymore as anyone reading this will know and some of those people may even be people I know. Come to think of it I have no idea if any of my friends or family actually read my blog. I think I've had a couple say they have but they never really acknowledge it. I suppose it's because this is just a hobby and to be honest the less attention that I get the better for me because I don't really like getting a lot of attention. I wouldn't even know what to do if one day I became famous (fat chance of that ever happening) but I mean it is true. I wouldn't know what to say or how to react. To be honest what would I even be famous for? I don't know because I literally have no actual talents. 

Anyway, sorry I went off rambling and this post was meant to be about my secret. Well, here goes.

I've never been in love. 

I feel like I've addressed this before as the 24 years of me being single may have hinted at this fact but it's true. I've thought I've been in love before but then I realised it was very one sided and discovering you're the other woman was not how I imagined my first experience with a guy to be. It sucked to be honest because everything I thought I was feeling at the time turned into a big lie and finding out you were just a bit of fun is not a great feeling. If anything that just made me feel nervous to try online dating again. What if what happened to me before happens again. You never really know a person and sometimes you can easily get lost in the moment that you're blinded by all the red flags being thrown at you. However, if I thought like that and focused on the red flags every time that they popped up that could ruin a potential relationship. I am currently talking to a guy who I've only met twice (thanks COVID) but I've spoken to him now for four months through the phone. It's definitely not something serious as we've only met twice, and I think things can be different face to face compared to speaking or texting on the phone. Although I will it admit it does make me feel a little bit happy whenever he sends me a message, so I'll just have to wait and see what happens. To be honest I get excited whenever anyone sends me a message because nobody really messages me so it's nice that somebody is thinking about me. 

Anyway, this turned into a long post. Thank you if you read this far. Let me know if you have a secret. You don't have to tell me in the comments unless you're feeling brave enough. It's okay to have secrets and it's definitely something you never grow out of. 

I'll be back with another post for you soon. 

See you then. 

Megan x 

*This is not a sponsored post* 

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