Red Flags

As someone who has experienced online dating and never officially having a boyfriend, I'd say I've picked up on a few red flags when it comes to dating which will be useful to anyone currently dating someone and unsure as to whether they want to make the relationship serious or not. This is just based on my own experience and every relationship is different, but these are just a few little red flags you may want to keep an eye on, just in case. 

1. They don't message that often

One of the biggest dating/relationship problems is communication. I'm going to admit in the beginning it's like the honeymoon stage where you're messaging each other constantly and can't get enough of it. The phase will soon die down and sometimes it may be either for a good reason or a bad reason. Honestly, if someone was really into you but life hit them in the face with a busy work schedule, they will message you to say they're busy and if they do that means they care because they're a decent human who realises it takes about ten seconds to let someone know they're going to be busy so it may take some time for them to get back to you. I don't get how this could be so hard for some people to just be honest about whether they're busy or just completely ignoring you for whatever reason. Communication is key in any relationship so try to remember this the next time you're messaging. Just don't be that needy person who constantly messages them hoping they'll eventually reply to you because that can put a lot of people off. Just try to remain the sensible one in the situation and whatever will be, will be. 

2. They don't want you to know their socials other than Snapchat

The common thing that is a big red flag is whether they're open to giving you their over socials. Obviously, they don't have to give you every single social but giving you their Facebook is a good start because you know their friends and family are on there. If you don't have their socials yet, suggest it the next time you see each other and see what they say. If they're open about giving you their socials, then that's a good sign. If they're not so open or say they don't have any social media, then that can be a little shifty in my opinion because everyone has at least one social media. Plus this person may clearly underestimate how easy it can be to find someone's profile online. So yeah, if they're not open to giving you their socials then they're either hiding something (like a secret partner) or they're not serious about you at all to give you their socials. 

3. You never go on any actual dates

Now don't get me wrong, sometimes a good snuggle on the sofa or in bed, watching a movie and eating snacks is a great date. However, it's also a date that requires barely any effort at all. Yes, it's nice to not have to get dressed up and look fancy but sometimes it's nice to be able to do something outside of the bedroom or home whether it's going for a meal or to the cinema, the beach, the arcade. Just somewhere nice together as a couple really allows you to get to know each other even better. It will also make you find out if you have more in common plus make you realise whether their intentions are purely sexual and just a bit of fun or something that could become serious. Sex is great but if every conversation is sexual and every date turns into sex with the bare minimum effort then clearly, it's not going to be a serious thing. Suggest going on a date and actually make the effort to make plans for it, see what they say. It could open your eyes just a little bit more about their intentions on where the relationship is going to go. 

4. They don't care about your life 

This may be a very obvious thing, but do you actually talk about each other's lives? Do you know what they do for work? Hobbies they enjoy doing. Do they have friends or are they an independent person? Are they close with their family? If the person you're dating is asking about your life, then it shows they care what is going on in your life as perhaps they may hope to be a part of your life too. They also want to know not just your ups but your downs too. If you're having a bad day and you tell them, see if they're concerned. Heck even willing to come and see you if to try and make you feel better. A relationship requires effort from both parties and if there's effort on both ends then it should be a very beautiful relationship. You can even make it fun with trivia games or would you rather. It doesn't always have to be completely serious, and you can make it a fun way to get to know each other even better. If they care about your life and what's going on in it then it shows they're serious and if they don't seem all that bothered, then that's a major red flag. 

5. They're very secretive about their phone

Sometimes a phone can reveal a lot about a person. Do they mind if you can see what's on their phone or do they tilt their phone away from you when they're using it? If so, that could be a tell-tale sign they might be talking to other potential partners. I'm not saying try to snoop through their phone when they're not looking but if they're happy to leave their phone in the same room as you while they get a drink or go to the bathroom then it should be a sign, they're not playing games. However, if they take their phone everywhere and never leave it alone with you then maybe you should be a little suspicious. A tell-tale sign to be suspicious if whether you actually know what wallpaper they have on their phone. If you don't then clearly, they've been hiding their phone on you. 

6. They're not that intimate with you

I don't mean sex in this situation. I'm talking about those little moments of either kissing, cuddling, holding hands, wrapping their arm around you, being close with you etc. Trust me when someone is only close with you when you do the deed and then barely touch you before or afterwards that could be a sign, they're not serious with you because they don't want you to get too close or give you mixed feelings. I was with a guy once who barely cuddled me. In fact we watched a movie, and not once did he get close with me to either kiss me or cuddle me, it was always me that initiated it. I don't think people realise how nice it is to get a hug or a kiss from someone you're dating. It's just those little moments that can really brighten someone's days. If they're not that intimate with you or it's always you initiating those little moments, then trust me when I say that it hurts because you feel like they're not bothered by it at all which is most likely the case. If they only time they're touching you and close to you is in a sexual way, then there is your red flag right there because they only want you for one reason and one reason alone. 

7. Time Of The Month

One of the biggest red flags I've recently discovered is when it's that time of the month. It's a thing that always happens once a month whether you like it or not but a big sign whether the relationship will be serious is how your potential partner reacts to this news that sex is definitely off the cards. Does he still treat you the sane like a normal human? Offer to still hang out with you and go on a date with you? Or does he just abandon ship? Completely forget you exist and makes no attempt to want to spend time with you because it's your time of the month. It kind of makes you realise that the only thing they care about is sex and when that's off the cards, they don't even want to spend time with you as if we're useless when we're on our periods or we turn into monsters (okay maybe the first day, don't talk to us) but everything else is normal. It sucks when you come to realise, they don't care about you when you're on your period, but it does show whether they're serious or not if they're willing to put up with your time of the month. It's a massive red flag if they don't want to spend time with you even when you're on your period because it shows they only want one thing and one thing only. 

8. There is zero effort from them

Finally, a relationship is about two people putting in the same amount of effort into it. If the person you're dating is barely putting in any effort to make it work, then clearly you don't mean that much to them. They only message you when they're bored or horny because they know you'll always make the effort to reply. In these situations try to take a step back from it and see if they notice when you start going quiet on them. Effort is the thing that makes a relationship work and if you're each putting in the effort then you will make it work. However, if there is no effort from his part then maybe it's time to realise the relationship is not going to be a serious one.

There we have it; those are my red flags you should definitely look out for when you're dating someone. Of course, don't quickly judge if one or more of these red flags pop up but just keep an eye out for them. If you feel like all of these red flags crop up with the person, you're dating then maybe it's time to revaluate or just have a serious talk with them. Communication is really important so talk to the person about your relationship. Are they hoping to make it long term or not? If the answer is not, then it's time to say goodbye. I know it can be hard but if you're just honest with one another about where you stand in the relationship then it will make both of you feel better. 

That's all I have to say on red flags, let me know in the comments below if you have any red flags to look out for that I may not have mentioned. Maybe we can help each other out when it comes to dating. 

Thank you for reading my blog and I'll be back again soon with another post. 

See you then. 

Megan x 

*This is not a sponsored post* 

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