Toxic Friends

Have you ever experienced a very toxic friendship because I have. 

Luckily for me, mine was back in secondary school in Year Ten and I've never let anyone treat me the same way this person treated me because this person really messed me up and honestly, I think this was where I started to choose who I let get close to me. Of course from the many failed dating experiences I've had, this hasn't really worked out well. Honestly though, this person was so toxic that honestly I'm glad they did what they did so I no longer have to even acknowledge in my life. It's also where I realised the signs of a toxic friend and I thought I'd share my wisdom so that you never have to deal with a toxic friend in your life or you may have a current friend that is showing these signs then this is your chance to block that friend from your life because honestly nobody has time for that. 

Here are the signs of a toxic friend.

1. They talk down to you

If you find yourself being spoken down a lot by a friend who treats you like you're beneath them or aren't as smart as they are then they are not your true friend. A true friend will speak to you like a normal person and on equal terms. They won't want to make you feel like you are smaller than you are. My toxic friend did this to me even in my own house which is very relevant to the second point in this list. If you feel like your friend is speaking down to you all the time and making you feel stupid or small then they are not your friend. They are just trying to dominate themselves over you and that is not how friendships work. Sure you may have those moments when you do stupid things but during those times you end up laughing with your friend together. Honestly, the really important thing is that if they make you inferior to them then they are not worth the friendship and you need to get out of there because honestly you don't deserve to be treated like that. 

2. Mother knows best

This is a very tell sign. Not particularly your mother but any family member or even the closest people in your life. If they don't like that friend of yours then listen to them. For me when I had a falling out with this particular friend and told my mother about it was the moment she took off the rose tinted glasses and told me how she really felt about this friend. It opened my eyes to all the red flags that were there all along and I let slide by me because it was my friend. Honestly, if your mother doesn't like someone in your life then sometimes you should listen to them because most of the time they are right because they are an outside perspective to your friendship and they can see things you may not be able to see because you love your friend. Honestly, if you're going through a falling out with a friendship, talk to your mum, dad, sibling or someone you're close with that has witnessed your friendship with the person and see how they feel about them because it will really open your eyes on the whole situation.

3. They happily drop you like you're nothing

Honestly, the worst feeling I experienced was when this toxic friend decided one day to just forget I existed and completely ignore me. There wasn't even an argument or a falling out over something. Just out of the blue they decided they didn't want to be my friend anymore and that's fair enough but the fact she didn't even tell me and instead just completely ignored me, gave me the silent treatment and did not even acknowledge me in any way really hurt. I was a lonely girl in school when I was in year 10. It eventually got better but there was a period where I was just walking around the school on my own during break and lunch times. It was a very sad period of my life and hence why I couldn't wait to leave school. I survived though, clung on to another group that I was friendly with who let me hang out with them. Still though, when someone can just go from being your best friend to dropping you like you're nothing and forgetting you don't exist with no explanation shows you deserve better than that person and that they were never your true friend. 

4. They aren't there for during the hard times

Honestly, going through a hard period of your life shows who your true friends are because the ones that care about you are there through thick and thin but the ones who don't care about you are nowhere to be seen. Honestly, a true friend will be there for you through thick and thin but a bad friend will show you their true colours during the hard times and you deserve so much better than that. Those friends are not even worth your time. If you're going through a hard time in your life, figure out who went out there way to check up on you because those are your real friends and the ones that didn't even bat an eyelid will make you realise that you may need to reevaluate whether you want this person in your life if they don't care when you go through a tough period in your life. Honestly, you need a friend who will be there for you during the good times as well as the bad because you know you will do the same for them and if they won't do the same for you then it's time to drop that friend as they are not worthy of your friendship. 

5. They constantly bring you down

If you are friends with someone who is constantly bringing you down by criticising your looks, personality or aspects of your life then that person is not your friend. It's okay to give constructive criticism but that's out of love of not wanting your friend to look bad. However, straight up mocking how you look is just plain mean. Not even offering a solution to how you could make it better. It's often a sign of jealousy too because you actually look good and they're jealous you might look better than them. A true friend will lift you up and say you look good or be positive and when they make a small critique about something you're wearing they will go out of their way to offer a solution and fix it so that you look good. If someone is constantly bringing you down and making you upset all the time they are intentionally doing it and you deserve so much better. I would recommend calling them out on what they say, see how they react. If they get defensive and lack any kind of remorse for how they made you feel then you need to get out. Sometimes people don't realise what they say could hurt someone's feelings because somebody's never called them out on it but if you call them out on it and they feel hurt and apologise to how they've made you feel and promise they won't do it again that is a true friend. A true friend will never want to make you upset and be the reason why you're upset, they will want to fix it and make you happy. Someone who doesn't do that and doesn't even apologise for how they upset you is not someone you should be friends with. You are worth so much more than that. 

Anyway, those are signs of a toxic friend. I'm sure there are plenty more signs of a toxic friend but these are ones that I've personally been affected by in my lifetime. I can happily say that all my current friendships are toxic free and I have no more friendship drama in my life. I think in your adult life you value friendships more than when you're in school. School is just a completely different ball game that is full of toxic friendships here, there and everywhere but trust me when I say you will find your real friendships that will last you a lifetime and remember school is not forever so don't worry it will pass. Let me know if you have any signs of toxic friends in the comments below and maybe we can help to eradicate those toxic friendships. 

Thank you for reading my blog and I'll be back tomorrow with another post. 

See you then.

Megan x

 *This is not a sponsored post* 

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